The suffering of indecision

To decide or not to decide those are the options. In not making a decision is making a decision.

Normally I am a decisive human, and this has been a new experience for me. I keep waiting on certain things to happen to set off a chain reaction, which is keeping me in limbo. So is limbo such a bad place to be...for me yes, yes it is.

I have taken the step and relocated to Melbourne, a rather large leap really, but then have come to a screaming halt, a five month halt. Why... well I had given in to waiting on someone else to contribute to the great plan we had. Unfortunately urgency has never been their strong point and as a result I had continued to empower them with my next steps. As a result not making a decision was the choice I made.

Well this limbo has not worked well for me and its resulted in some epic meltdowns, immense frustration and dark places I spent too much time getting comfortable in.

In empowering someone else has removed the strength and courage I should have. It was the easy way to not commit to the next steps that I need to own for me. It has meant I haven't started the chain effect of moving forward, in keeping one foot in and the other out ready to push away from progressing.

Not making a decision paralyses you into complacency. It removes your power and ability to progress. It keeps you in a holding pattern and as a result you don't move forward. I would even say over time you go backwards, because progress that could be made is not and you remain stagnant. And stagnant water eventually goes rancid and breeds illness. It can make you resentful, bitter and erode your confidence. Because that frustration has to come out. And it's those who are checking on you asking what you've decided that get the vent release.

I am making a decision and that is to take my power back.

In taking the next step does not mean it needs to be the final decision. It can be a simple as making a plan A and if that doesn't work a plan B. What are your boundaries and measures? What can you make peace with, and what will you look back on and regret? These thoughts and plans can help form the steps to the final decision. Having ownership of yourself and your destiny is the decision you can make.

Because standing in your own power is the most rewarding gift you can give yourself, and your destiny.

So bye for now; me xx